Hey there! After being sick for all of last week, I’m back to walking. Thanks to everyone’s well wishes.
First, I have to say that YES, yesterday’s post was an April Fool’s Day joke! The night before, I was talking with Carl Sinclair about doing something for April Fool’s Day. I pitched something, and Carl suggested the dancing thing, if I remember correctly, and I said YES! I must do that.
Thanks to everyone who commented or emailed me regarding the post.
On a Carl related note, he named me to his Geek of the Week list this week. Last time I was on a geek of the week list was in middle school, and it likely meant that I was about to get my ass kicked.
Without further ado, today’s podcast:
I talked a bit about the response to the April Fool’s Day joke and how touched I was by people.
I talked about finishing the first draft of Crash.
I talked a bit about wanting to do comics again, which led to discussion of the movie, Stripped.
Enjoy, and see you tomorrow.
Remember: if you have a question, leave it in the comments or email me and I’ll do my best to answer it in a future podcast.
Still feeling sick, so I’m going to rest up and return to The Walking Dave on Monday.
I feel like I should’ve rested yesterday rather than gone out walking because when it came time to do the Author Hangout last night, I was sick, grouchy, and my back hurt (from my crappy bed), so I felt like an asshole in the Hangout as it went later than planned and Sean kept rambling, making the show longer.
Usually, I’m up for these things to go for two hours or more. But last night, I just wanted to go sit on the couch, so apologies to those who came and got less than my best.
And apologies to Sean for being a dick to you.
I appreciate everyone who showed up to the Hangout and hope to make the next one more fun.
Also, thanks to everyone who has commented or emailed me regarding The Walking Dave podcast, I appreciate all the nice thoughts.
I’ll be answering questions in the podcast (though I may answer some in the comments, too, if they seem more pressing).
I’ll probably get back to walking tomorrow, or Saturday, depending how much better I feel. I’m taking antibiotics, so I’m hopeful it will be soon.
It’ll also be good to be ahead on the podcasts by a day or two so I can update them at night and you’ll have a new podcast each morning, rather than waiting for me to post in the middle of the day.
OK, time to end this post so I can get back to writing Crash. Even though I’m not walking, I AM still working.
I need to give this draft to Sean on the 31. And before you think, Man, Sean’s such a jerk, expecting Dave to work sick, remember … I’ve been working on this story since last August and have missed countless deadlines.
It’s been a beast!
And in all honesty, I’ve been working on this story since I was 18, so, yeah, I need to just push it across the finish line and hope for the best.
The good news is that we’re NOT in a rush to publish the story. If it needs more time after Sean’s edits, and my next pass through, we’ll give it the proper time. But I’ll at least have finished the hardest part — getting the first draft done.
A quick note: tomorrow is the 100th episode of The Self Publishing Podcast, and we’ll be announcing what our Kickstarter is going to be at 2 PM EST, so be sure to catch that. I’ll post a link on Twitter, follow me @thedavidwwright and I’ll post it the minute the show goes live.
I’m sick today and the last two recordings I did, the audio was messed up, which meant I had to get off my ass and walk TODAY if I wanted a post up here.
So, thank you, accountability!
In this episode, I answered Heather’s question on what comic strips I liked and how they shaped my own characters.
I also talked about the first thing which I truly loved about comic strips which shapes the stories I tell today. I wonder if you’ll guess what it is.
And then I was joined by a special guest.
No, not the killer osprey.
But my 6-year old son, E.
No, E is not his real name.
It’s his decoy name :)
A couple of housekeeping notes.
I’ll be doing an Author Hangout with Sean Platt tonight at 8PM, so head on over to the Collective Inkwell website for info on that.
It’s not a hangout with OTHER AUTHORS to talk about publishing. It’s a hangout for our Goners, to talk about our stuff and whatever else comes up.
Also, I’m trying to decide the best way to post these.
Before now, I just had episode numbers. Starting today, I’m adding a couple of things I talked about, so it’s easier for those who aren’t keeping track of numbers to know if they already listened to a particular episode.
I was wondering if you think I should do a different photo for each podcast too? I think seeing the same photo over and over can make the blog look ugly. Plus, it can be confusing to people seeing the same photo over and over (though the title helps a bit).
The biggest reason to use the same photo for the podcast posts is so people who have no interest in them, can easily decide to only click on posts with other photos, knowing that THOSE posts are non-podcast posts and something they can read.
I DO want to keep all of this on one blog, but I’d love to know what you think.
You see, I’ve been NEEDING to start a regular exercise habit for years. I’m 337 pounds, and not getting any lighter sitting at a desk 12 hours a day writing.
I used to love walking, but fell out of the habit several years ago.
And whenever I think I’ll get to it again, I never quite find the time.
So I thought, well, there’s two things that I DO make time for without fail — writing and my weekly podcast commitments (Self-Publishing Podcast and Better Off Undead.) So why not marry my need to exercise with a daily podcast that I do while out walking?
I’ve now been walking for two weeks. I did some test shows of varying bits of quality, and am going to go ahead and start by posting the below podcast I did last week as my official FIRST The Walking Dave podcast!
I’m hoping you like it enough that I continue to find an excuse to walk every weekday. But a big part of whether I continue to do the podcast is how you respond.
Let me know what you think, and — more importantly — let me know what you’d like me talk about. Got questions? Ask them here or shoot me an email and I’ll answer them in the podcast.
I’ll post another episode tomorrow, and meanwhile work on getting these up to iTunes.
P.S. This is also the first thing I’ve drawn on my Cintiq 13HD that I got more than a year ago!
I’m hella rusty. This took way too long. But, it’s a start in the right direction.
So, in addition to making time for walking, my other plan this year is to make time for my art. I miss drawing comics, and would love to make something that my 6-year old son can enjoy.
Before I start this post, first let me say, I like cats … at least in the abstract.
They’re cute, they don’t lick you all the time with their stupid germs like certain canines (and don’t even send me a letter about dogs or cats having clean tongues — they lick their butts, how clean can they be?), and they’re good companions who don’t (usually) demand much care or attention.
When it comes to pets, cats are probably the least needy pets to have.
But they can also be assholes. Big time assholes, like my cat, Charlie.
Here’s a list of assholish things that Charlie does.
1) He is always underfoot. Wherever I go, Charlie is waiting, right there, to rush right out in front of me. I used to think it was cool, like he’s waiting to join me on some adventure “Hey, let’s go, Daddy!”
Yes, I assume he thinks of me as his daddy.
But he doesn’t run in front of me, he runs right in my path!
When I step out of office, he springs forth, right under my feet, nearly tripping me.
When I come home holding 12 bags of groceries, there he is again, right under my feet, forcing me to pivot lest I step on him and squish him.
WHAT THE HELL?
I’m not sure if he’s suicidal or trying to kill me. Either way, he’s an asshole.
2) He poops a lot. I’m not sure what the deal is, but this cat manages to poop way more than he seems to eat.
I wouldn’t mind so much if I wasn’t ALWAYS the one who had to clean it.
You see, when my wife got pregnant with our son, she informed me that she couldn’t clean the litter box because of germs in the cat’s poop which could kill the unborn baby.
But that was seven years ago, and I’m still cleaning it!
I guess you can never take enough precautions.
3) He tends to wait until we’re eating to poop. And to make matters worse, after EACH AND EVERY POOP, he runs around the house at a million miles an hour like he’s in some kind of race or just drank 15 Red Bulls.
What the hell is up with that?!
Does pooping feel THAT GOOD that he has to run laps?
4) He likes to wake people up. Sometimes in the middle of the night, he’ll just walk around the house meowing or knocking shit over, just to wake people up. This is especially annoying when he does it near my son’s room. Thankfully, he doesn’t do this a lot. Probably because he knows I’ll put him in the garage at night if he continued.
5) He gets hair E V E R Y W H E R E! Even though he’s a shorthaired cat, he somehow manages to shed some 20 cubic tons of orange hair on the couch every week.
Even though he’s not supposed to BE ON THE FUCKING COUCH!!
6) He always sleeps on the couch! This bastard always climbs onto the couch. You push him off, he jumps right back up until he wears you down.
We even took to putting sheets over the couch, just to keep him from getting hair (or sometimes puking up hairballs) on the couch.
And you know what this asshole does?
He goes UNDER THE SHEETS!
What an asshole!
7) He likes to vomit strategically. Charlie seems so concerned that some predator is going to steal his food that when you put food into his bowl, he chows it ALL DOWN and winds up puking like some kind of super model.
And while we have a huge expanse of the kitchen and laundry room with vinyl flooring, where do you think he pukes?
If you guessed carpet, you win!
And you get bonus points if you guessed on the carpet in high traffic areas like right in front of doorways!
And he doesn’t just puke once!
Oh no, Charlie likes to puke, walk, puke again, then walk some more, then puke again, leaving 10 little piles all over the house (only on the carpeted area, of course).
And God forbid there’s a shoe or something important on the floor (which happens a lot when you have a 6-year old). Charlie will puke near or on said item of importance.
8) He’s a creeper. Seriously, the cat will just plop down on a spot directly opposite you and just STARE AT YOU. For hours.
9) Poopy Paws. Now, this isn’t just something which applies to MY CAT, but to all cats in general.
After I had a child, a child who crawled on the floor and liked to put stuff in his mouth, I suddenly realized a VERY OBVIOUS FACT. Cats have poopy paws (my wife’s term, not mine).
Which means that because he does his business in a litter box, where he STANDS on the very place he is doing said business, it means that his paws are LOADED with fecal and urine particles!
And given that he walks all over EVERY FUCKING INCH of our house, and hops on the couch, he is tracking feces and cat urine EVERYWHERE!
I imagine that if you brought a black light to our house, it would light up like a Christmas tree.
I don’t know about you, but that’s pretty disgusting.
Obviously, he can’t do much about that, and that’s our thing to deal with, not his. We can’t expect him to suddenly stop going to the bathroom, though we have politely asked.
What amazes me is how many people I know, people I am friends with!, allow their cats to jump up on their kitchen counters, sit in their bathroom sinks, and sleep in their beds.
10) He likes to eat weird things … and then puke them up. Charlie CANNOT resist the lure of strings, lace, and those plastic garbage bag ties.
And then he gnaws on them like he’s flossing his teeth or something.
If left alone long enough with the item, he will keep on chewing it until he’s eaten it, and then puked it out in little piles all over the house!
My son used to bring home helium balloons from parties and leave them tied to a toy or something, so it wouldn’t float away. He’d leave the room, come back, and then his balloon would be floating, with bits of string all over the floor and the cat walking away smiling like the asshole he is.
If you think that’s bad, Charlie’s got nothing on our prior cat, Sweetie (who passed last year). She managed to sneak into our bedroom (cats are NEVER allowed in the bedrooms), and into our closet, and managed to eat my wife’s wedding veil!
TALK ABOUT ASSHOLES!
Despite all this, I do like him.
He does cute tricks (stands and walks for treats), and he gives a mean massage. He’ll jump on your back and knead your back and shoulders.
You just have to make sure to shower after the poopy paws massage.
So, there you have it, the Top 10 Ways My Cat is an Asshole.
Leave a comment below and share your own asshole pet stories!